Things a personal trainer wants you to do at the gym.

Perhaps it’s a case of not getting out enough and being inappropriately aroused by mobile ankles (don’t ask), but if you ask this personal trainer, you can put your damn abs away and get me all hot and bothered by doing the following:

1. Prioritizing form over ego.

Not to be crass, but there is no greater boner killer than some douchebag grunting and sweating as they heave around weights that are clearly beyond them. Exactly what are we trying to achieve here other than petrifying women and children?

On the flip-side my grunty friend, if you really want my attention, use an appropriate weight that allows you to move with beautiful control and flawless form… with minimal jungle sounds.

While you’re here, watch how the horoscopes work out. Post continues after video.

2. Putting your sh*t away.

Using 8 x 20kg weight plates on a machine and proceeding to walk away as the hapless chap working on the gym floor has to schlep back your sh*t to where it belongs is the equivalent of being a jerk to the waiter on a first date – a deal-breaker.

Sadly, this happens so often that when a normal human being actually puts the weights away that they used, it’s instant love-heart-eyes emoji.

Actually, that person is me. I put away weights. In fact, I do not only put away my weights; I tidy the weights around them. Where the f**k are the love-heart-eye emojis for me??? WHERE???

3. Daring to be different.

The men-folk lift the heavy things on the gym floor and the lady-folk do the grape-vines in aerobics. As I extract myself from 1970, there is no denying certain activities at the gym still have a type.

While this archetype is absolutely changing, there is something so beautifully vulnerable about participating in whatever activity you want despite being the only one of your type in said situation.

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